I'm in Love With Judas
by Cheery Bomb Brony
Summary: A song-fic inspired by Lady Gaga's song Judas.  Ciel's sister finds comfort in a man that she knows she shouldn't after all the pain she and Ciel are put through.


(c) Story is mine as is Maggy. All other characters belong to their respective creators (ie not me damn it).  
>(c) The song Judas is Lady Gaga's... I just borrowed it for this song fic.<p>

Be kind. This was written in one long ass sitting. It is not set anywhere in the series in particular unless otherwise specified during the story.

Inspired by Lady Gaga's Judas and a few other things.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Judas~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_When he comes to me I am ready  
><em>

The first time I saw him, he was covered in blood. So was I. He was holding my twin, my brother Ciel. Cradling him like a baby. I was afraid. So in pain. But even through my fear, all I saw was salvation. I didn't care why. Didn't care that he'd just slaughtered those who had hurt us. To me he was a dark angel. More beautiful than the brightest summer day or the clearest moon lit night. His eyes glowed, like twin spots of flame in the darkness my brother and I had been sunk so deeply into. My brother pointed a shaking hand to me, saying something to the vision in black. Something only the vision could hear. The man only nodded and came to stand before me. I could only watch. I lay on the strange cross I was crucified on, blood dripping free from my wrists and body like ruby rivulets. He looked into my eyes. It felt as though he were looking into my soul. I suppose he was. I didn't look away. I was afraid to, the thought that he'd disappear, that the men in cloaks would return terrified me. With my eyes I wordlessly begged.  
><em>"Please. Please take me from here. Save me."<br>_His eyes like flame, they were so cold. He looked on me as one would a picture in a gallery. As though admiring the aesthetic beauty of the moment. He lifted my brother, showing him what they'd done. He was crying. I couldn't begin to imagine what I looked like.  
>"Maggy. Are you still...?" I realized my eyes had glazed over with the pain. I hadn't moved the whole time the vision in black had been there. I opened my mouth, trying to speak. All that I could do was let forth a soft breath. My throat was too raw from screaming.<br>"Sebastian, she is coming with us. Then burn it all." The coldness in my brother's tone scared me, but I still couldn't think straight. My eyes slipped back up to his. To Sebastian's. He gazed down at me. He cradled my brother in one arm and worked my hands and neck free. He caught me and lifted me with his free arm. The warmth of his body was little comfort against the pain that exploded in my body. I wanted to scream. But I couldn't release anything but a strangled whine. The world went black all at once. His eyes were the last thing I saw. His glowing, red eyes.

__I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs__

I awoke in a dark place. Alone. It was quiet, and for a moment I thought I was dead. The wry thought that I couldn't possibly be that lucky occurred to me and I shifted, attempting to sit up. I failed. I let out a scream of pain, and bit my lip to cut it off. I could hear footsteps approaching quickly. Panic hit me hard and I tried in vain to raise myself to a fleeing position. Suddenly there were gloved hands, they were pressing me into the mattress. It took me several minutes to register that this person wasn't trying to hurt me and was in fact trying to talk to me.  
>"Calm down my lady. CALM down." When I finally breathed, stopped fighting, he was perched over me. He was carefully holding me to the bed. I could feel his warm breath mixing with mine as I panted from the exertion.<br>"You are home my lady. You are in your room. I am your butler. Please be calm." My mouth flapped open and closed wordlessly as the events of the last month washed over me again. Every vile thing they did. Every horrible pain they inflicted. And all I could bring myself to focus on was the memory of his glowing red eyes. Above me they were a dark brown now, like a warm sable waiting to be wrapped around me. I was confused. But for the moment I felt... safe. I lifted myself and wrapped my arms around him. Around the man Sebastian. The pain meant nothing. I clung to him, buried my face in his neck. I felt him shudder. His arms were cradling me now. His fingers tangled themselves in my wild mane of hair as his other hand held me close.  
>"Do you think you are ready to see your brother my lady?" I felt him whisper this against my neck. I shuddered and nodded. He lifted himself and I from the bed and carried me. He walked the hallways. Ones that I knew had been burned, that should no longer exist. But I couldn't bring myself to care. Even as we passed one of a kind art. I smiled. I nuzzled into my saviors neck. I knew he wasn't what he appeared. He was something far beyond human. I vowed to myself then, that no matter what came. No matter what happened. I would always work to pay back the un-payable to this man. I would do anything for this man. He'd given me everything I needed to survive. I would give him everything I had.<em><em><br>__

_Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain_  
><em> Even after three times he betrays me<em>

My brother_'s _eyes were closed when we entered. His face was tired and strained. It hurt to look at all the bandages wrapped around him. He now sported an eye patch as well. Sebastian could tell I was flustered. My fingers were trembling, fluttering nervously against his shoulder. I could feel his hand rubbing my back soothingly. It gave me strength. He carried me to the bed. I was looking down on my brother now.  
>"Ciel? Brother?" His eyes opened slowly and he tried to sit up. He winced and laid back. I glanced at Sebastian for a moment.<br>"Please put me down on the bed." He complied without a word. He set me gently on the other side of the bed. I scooted till I was lying beside my brother. I held his hand and lay my head beside his.  
>"I love you Ciel." He smiled a little. A tear escaped his visible eye.<br>"I love you to Maggy." His fingers squeezed my own tenderly, comfortingly. I could feel Sebastian's eyes watching our exchange. A look of curiosity written in his eyes, though not on his face. We lay there that way. Not moving. Speaking no more words. There were no words. After what we'd watched one another endure we could only immerse ourselves in each others calming presence. I held back the tears that threatened to fall. He didn't know everything. If I had my way, he would never know. I caressed a hand across his cheek. He was falling asleep again. His eyes seemed heavy, and he yawned. His fingers loosened and released mine. I motioned Sebastian over, holding my arms out to him the best that I could. He lifted me carefully and began to make his way back towards my room. I knew there was something. Something between the two that I wasn't quite understanding. My savior was not the savior of my brother. I could see it clearly in their eyes. My room was still only lit by the moon. Nearly no light. I sighed softly, my fingers tightening momentarily on Sebastian's jacket.  
>"May I sit in my chair by the window for a little while?" He smiled and carrying me to the indicated chair he sat, my body held in his lap and against his chest. It wasn't what I'd meant, but I was content and so said nothing. His hand continued to move comfortingly across my back. Again I sighed.<br>"How did you save us?" His body tensed against mine. He didn't answer though. Simply continued to caress my back.  
>"You aren't human." He didn't even tense this time. But he did answer me.<br>"What leads you to believe that my lady?" I lifted my head from his chest and looked into his eyes. There was a glint of amusement there, dancing in his dark eyes. I smiled absently as I stroked a finger down the side of his face.  
>"A few things. This manor. Our rescue." He chuckled. The warm sound ran through me and left me blushing.<br>"Is that it my lady?" My fingers were still absently exploring his face. My fingers ghosted over his eyes for a moment.  
>"Your eyes." I could see a flicker of the flame I'd seen earlier. I licked my lips unconsciously as my eyes slid down to his lips. He was smiling.<br>"What about my eyes?" My fingers found his lips now, tracing the crest of his upper lip before settling on the fullness of his bottom lip. He nipped the tips of my fingers gently. My eyes met his again.  
>"I could see the fire there, glowing red in your eyes." They glowed again. He drew my fingers into his mouth, licking where he'd nipped.<br>"So what if they are. It doesn't mean I am not human." I smiled and brought the fingers he'd licked to my own mouth, tracing my lips. His eyes followed the motion quietly.  
>"You aren't human. Please don't try to deceive me." He smiled. He said nothing now.<br>"Nor is Sebastian your name, not your true name anyway." He chuckled now, tilting my chin up so that he could look fully on my face.  
>"That is a bold claim. What is you proof?" I couldn't help it. A soft moan escaped. His fingers were stroking across my jaw, tugging me closer. I could feel my eyes widening.<br>"It was the name of my brother's dog." Sebastian winced and tilted his head to the side.  
>"Well, it's flattering to know that I am thought of as a dog by you." A soft whine left my throat. I plucked the glove from the hand touching my face. I caressed the mark that marred the back of his hand. His eyes were dark now. Weary. I cradled his hand in my own, resting my cheek in his palm. I wanted to feel his skin on mine. My eyes never left his.<br>"I think of you as my savior. You were there to rescue my brother. I know that. I am of no consequence. And yet you rescued me as well." He narrowed his gaze and I could feel his fingers convulse against my cheek.  
>"I am no one's savior. I am not worthy of such a title." There was a look there, buried deep in his eyes. He was trying to stay emotionless, expressionless. I couldn't help but smile softly.<br>"Perhaps. But it was the first thought that crossed my mind. Followed by how like an angel you appeared. So beautiful and strong." His eyes closed and he turned his face from mine.  
>"What are you my savior?" His eyes opened. The fire was there. Glowing as red as when I had seen him the first.<br>"I am the damned." My fingers left his to cup his cheek. I understood. I now understood so much.  
>"Then we both are." His eyes were on mine again, searching.<br>"You know what I am then?" I nodded.  
>"You know what it means?" Again I nodded and a tear slid down my cheek and across his hand.<br>"That my sacrifice was nothing to one who didn't know of it because his soul is as damned as my own now." A soft growl left his lips as he forced my eyes to stay on his.  
>"What sacrifice?" I closed my eyes as my tears flowed freely like waterfalls. I didn't answer at first. His grip tightened on my face.<br>"Tell me." There was a dangerous glint in his eyes. I swallowed hard.  
>"The torture was only part of it. They wanted more than our pain, our tears." His eyes softened. I knew he understood.<br>"They gave me a choice not long after we were taken to that place, into the dark." His lips caressed across my eyes as a soft hiccuping sob broke free.  
>"If I gave myself to them, without a fight. They wouldn't take his innocence." I broke then. My tears were a flood unleashed and he cradled me against his body, rocking me gently. It was a long time before my sobs hushed and my tears dried. His hands were stroking me, trying to offer what comfort they could. The irony wasn't lost on me. A demon who will one day consume the soul of the one I gave all for, was holding me, trying to comfort me. <em><br>_

_I'll bring him down, bring him down, down  
>A king with no crown, king with no crown<em>

His comforting me that night is probably the only thing that kept me sane. Whole. He held me long into the night. Whispering soft words of comfort. Each one sank into my heart like a balm. At the break of dawn I fell asleep, his arms tight around me, protecting me. He whispered something as my eyes shut. I didn't hear his words.  
><em>"The master owns me, but... what and who I am are yours alone my angel."<em>  
>If only I knew his words. It nags at me that I can't remember what he said. It seems somehow incredibly important. And yet I think my heart knows what my mind does not. A demon had enough of a soul to comfort my own. That was what I clung to. And I loved him for it. Whether he knew I have no idea. From that day on he served my brother. He was the perfect butler in every way. He would bring us tea and breakfast in the mornings in bed. He'd help us dress and would take care of nearly the entire manor. It was months before he and my brother began hiring staff on. The blond chef Bardory, or Bard as he preferred. He was the first. How he was allowed to be chef I didn't know. He couldn't cook a thing without turning it into something inedible. But he became part of our family. So did Finnian the gardener and Mei-rin the maid. I accepted them all as family as soon as they did me. Even Tanaka who used to belong to our staff before, everything. Even in the midst of taking care of everything, Sebastian made time for me. He would sit with me, holding me so tenderly that it hurt to think he didn't really care. I hoped he did. I never asked him to be kind. But he was. On our thirteenth birthday Sebastian baked us a wonderful cake. We didn't want to celebrate with a party. Neither of us wanted it what with our family having been murdered on our last. It didn't feel like a day to celebrate anymore. My brother's fiance, Elizabeth or Lizzie as she demanded to be called, didn't seem to understand and forced a party on us. We both bore with it. By the end of the day we were both exhausted. Ciel always went to bed first and that night was no different. When Sebastian's tapping came to my door I smiled gratefully.<br>"Enter Sebastian." He came in and sat in our chair, as I had come to think of it. He lifted me into his lap and held me there. I don't know if he got something out of those nights. He must have. He would sometimes seek me out to sit with him. His fingers were tight on my waist as he buried his face in the crook of my neck.  
>"I am sorry that I couldn't follow your wishes my lady. Master Ciel ordered me to do anything Lady Elizabeth asked as soon as she arrived." I smiled and nuzzled into his shoulder, inhaling the scents of tea and spice mixed with something singularly him.<br>"Don't apologize for what isn't your fault. This was my brother's and her doing. Neither of us seemed to have much say today." His eyes were on mine, a glint of laughter there.  
>"I suppose not. But I regret that they had me so busy I was unable to prepare a proper gift for you." I giggled. I am still a girl after all.<br>"You needn't give me something Sebastian. You do that every day. You give me peace and sanity." Now he was laughing. We were both more at ease now. A thought popped forward, one that had desperately wished to be voiced but that I had suppressed vehemently for fear of scaring away my only friend not related by blood. But tonight, I couldn't contain it anymore.  
>"Sebastian?"<br>"Hnn?" He was leaning back, my head tucked under his chin as he gazed out the window at the moon.  
>"If, if I asked a question would you answer it straight?" His hand on my back paused a moment before continuing it's comforting pattern of stroking.<br>"Maybe. It depends." I bit my lip nervously. It had been bugging me since that first night.  
>"Just one question. It only requires a quick answer. Please?" He sighed. I think he thought I'd ask something like where he came from, or something about his past. I didn't intend to. I only wanted to know one thing.<br>"One question. If I decide I do not wish to answer, you may choose another. Within reason. Deal?" My fingers tightened on his jacket where they rested over his steady heart beat.  
>"Deal." I could feel him smiling as he rubbed his cheek across the top of my head.<br>"Then ask your question my lady." I took a deep breath and sat up so I could meet his eyes. He looked weary again.  
>"What is your real name, not the one my brother christened you with?" His eyes darkened and he looked away.<br>"There is much in a name my lady, are you sure you don't wish to ask something else?" I felt a tightening in my chest but tried to keep the emotion out of my face.  
>"Does that mean you won't answer that?" His eyes came back to mine then. Almost challenging.<br>"For what purpose do you want that name? Is the name I currently answer to not enough?" I could hear the edge of fear in his voice. The uncertainty. I leaned in and ghosted my lips across his. It was the first time I'd ever been so bold. He froze as I leaned back again so I could gaze up into his eyes.  
>"I wish to be closer with you, and I can't when it feels as though the false name is a barrier you hold up to defend yourself. I keep no secrets from you. None. Is it so wrong that I wish to know this?" His eyes were dark and unsure. He lifted me from his lap then and set me to sit alone on the chair. I felt panic set into my heart.<br>"Judas." One word and he was gone. He left me sitting in the dark alone. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my fears. Alone with my tears. _  
><em>

_I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel_  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>

He came the next morning and every morning thereafter to help me as a good butler. But outside of that he avoided me. He refused to meet my eyes. He didn't speak to me unless it was necessary. I was more alone than I could ever remember being. My brother sensed something wrong. Knew it was something that tore at me, but didn't ask. He wasn't comfortable enough with me anymore to. My days were spent alone walking the manor halls. No more laughing in the library. No more smiles in the garden. No more soft embraces. He pulled away as though I were nothing. He looked at me with indifference as he had that first moment he'd gazed at my bloody and broken form. I learned something about myself though. I was in love with him. Completely and cripplingly so. It hurt. More than anything those things had done. More than screaming till I couldn't. I felt like I was dying. Slowly it felt as though my soul was stagnating, rotting inside me. I began to wonder if it wouldn't have been kinder to simply burn me along with the other filth. But even so, even though it was killing me. Even though he cruelly pushed me away. I was still in love with Judas._  
><em>

_I couldn't love a man so purely_  
><em>Even prophets forgave his crooked way<em>

A year passed in this way. Silence and pain. I didn't ask him to come back to me. I didn't ask his forgiveness. He didn't give it. I knew everything about him. What he was. More or less why he was what he was. All from knowing his name. The only thing I didn't know was that he was suffering just as much as I. He was always so close and yet so far. His name was the one I woke whispering. The one I fell asleep weeping. I needed him. But I didn't know how to make things better. But I couldn't hold his anger against him. I had asked in a way I couldn't have understood, I had asked him to reveal himself to me. I'd asked too much with knowing just that one word. But it meant the world to me that he'd told me. Even knowing what he'd reveal. He'd still told me. _  
><em>

_I've learned love is like a brick you can_  
><em>Build a house or sink a dead body<em>

The work my bother and he did was no secret to me. Nor was it's dangers secluded from me. When the circus people came to the manor, I was frightened. I knew they were there. I knew he wasn't. I hid in my closet after hearing the first shot. Mei-rin was an expert shot, but even she couldn't get them all if there were too many. I could hear Bard and Finnian calling to one another and the sounds of the people they killed. But I was frightened. The tears came fast and hard, but I was completely silent. Elizabeth was there to. She was in one of the rooms far from the attack. I didn't worry for her. I was simply scared. He wasn't there. That's all my mind could focus on. He wasn't there. My body was rigid and still as my tears fell. I needed him. He wasn't there. The sound of my door opening nearly made me jump. I bit my lip to stay silent. I prayed. I prayed to whatever power would listen. If I was going to die, I didn't want to till I'd seen him again. Just once. I wanted his forgiveness. Even if I had to beg. I didn't care. I just wanted him to forgive me and hold me just once more. An explosion. Somewhere not too far away an explosion rocked the house. The footsteps retreated quickly. The door wasn't shut so I stayed where I was. Perfectly silent. Perfectly still. It was hours later that I heard footsteps again. But these ones were rushing towards my hiding place. I tensed. My whole body tensed to the point of feeling as though every muscle and bone wanted to snap. The door to my closet was yanked open. It was him. His eyes were wild and frantic. Scared. The moment his arms wrapped around me I cried. Not silently. Not still. I wept and wrapped myself around him tightly. I didn't care if he was still angry with me. I needed to be close to him at that moment.  
>"Please I'm sorry. I never meant to make you angry with me. Please." My quickly spoken plea was unnecessary. He was muttering something as well.<br>"I'm sorry my lady. I can smell how close... I'm sorry. I'll never let anyone come so close again. You are mine to protect and it was only luck... I'm so sorry." His arms were painfully tight. I didn't care. He was holding me. He was talking to me. I pulled my face from his shoulder and did what I'd ached to do for the last year. I kissed him. Not innocently. Not with a soft tenderness. But with a desperate need. A hunger that was mirrored in him as he covered my body with his own, returning the kiss with interest. He laid me on my bed, his hands roaming freely. I welcomed his touch, moaning for him softly.  
>"Judas..." His lips left mine for only a moment. To gaze into my eyes.<br>"You are my angel. The only one who can call me that name... I want you to belong to me." My mouth was dry. I understood exactly what he was offering me. His fingers played with my hair, fanning it out around me.  
>"I've only ever belonged to you." A soft growl escaped him as he claimed my lips this time. His mouth pushing mine open, tongue boldly sweeping into sear a trail across my teeth and tongue. He wasn't tender. He was rough and demanding. Dominating. I loved it. <em><br>_

_In the most Biblical sense,_  
><em>I am beyond repentance<em>

Anyone could see that I was flourishing. As Mei-rin said at one point, I almost seemed to glow. Of course I laughed it off, but Ciel began watching me more closely. He wanted to know what had changed. But I'd divert the conversation every time. Thankfully he was easy to distract. Besides, I didn't want him interfering, as I knew he would. He had always been protective of me, had told me since we were little that he'd never let some man take me from him. How would he react if he found out that man was his demon butler? We kept it to ourselves. Our happiness, our love, our night time pursuits. I found more happiness in his arms than I'd ever known could exist. It was hard though. Hiding my happiness. Given the choice I'd shout it from the highest mountain. I was proud of my love. I made sure he knew this to. Judas would hold me late into the night, our flesh caressing against one another sensually. In front of the others he was Sebastian, but in our own time, in our darkness. He was my Judas. Part of me knew. Knew that others would see our love as sin. A human in love with a demon and a demon returning it? It was blasphemy. But when we were alone the world was perfect. There were no rules and no one between us. We loved as deeply as we could for the time given to us. _  
><em>

_I wanna love you,_  
><em>But something's pulling me away from you<em>  
><em>Jesus is my virtue,<em>  
><em>Judas is the demon I cling to<em>

I suppose it was a matter of time. A gasp too loud. A moan too long. We were caught. Ciel caught us. He walked into my room as Judas took me, my body arching off the bed as I cried out a loud moan. His room was at the other end of the manor so it had never been a thought. But his surprised gasp. It broke the spell woven between us. The one of secrecy, of our darkness. Ciel's candle threw long shadows against us. His eye grew round and then narrow as Judas pulled my sheet up to cover my body. He placed himself between my brother and myself. Ciel didn't speak at first. Just stared at me. The look he gave me made me feel dirty. I broke eye contact first. He removed his eye patch then. I felt Judas tense. He was practically rigid. His hand was glowing. My eyes flew to my brothers. His right eye glowed the same ominous purple.  
>"Master Ciel, please don't." Judas' words caught me unawares. I'd never heard him sound frightened like that. He was on his knees. Ciel was unwavering.<br>"Sebastian I ORDER you to never touch MY sister again. She is off limits to you. You aren't to speak to her. You aren't to look at her. You will do your duty as a butler, no more no less. Is that understood?" I felt the blood drain from my face. Judas slid forward and off the bed towards his clothes. I reached for him. But he stepped out of reach. He wouldn't look at me.  
>"Yes Master Ciel."<br>"Please." His head dropped as I begged. Tears were falling freely from my eyes. I held the sheet up against myself only because it was the last thing he'd touched. He dressed quickly and left. I was left sitting there on my bed, my brother glaring at me.  
>"I can't believe you Maggy. How could you let him touch you? Taint you?" My eyes could have been those of a demon at that moment.<br>"How dare you. How dare you to presume you know a damn thing? Taint me? I was tainted long before he touched me. I was saved by his touch. I'd have gone insane without him." My fingers dug into the sheet fiercely. My eyes level on his, making him back away as I stood, the sheet the only covering.  
>"If it weren't for my fear of this, of you taking him from me. I would not have hid this. I love him and he loves me. I am proud to belong to him." He looked incredulous and just a bit scared.<br>"Listen to yourself. You don't even know him. What he is. He doesn't love you because he's not capable of it." My fist slammed into the wall beside Ciel's head as I shrieked in anger.  
>"You self righteous prick. I know exactly what he is and I know him better than probably anyone in existence. I know he's capable of love. The one who is ignorant is you." His eyes were round as I drew my hand back to slap him. <em><br>_

_I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel_  
><em>But I'm still in love with Judas, baby<em>

My hand never found it's mark as Judas was suddenly between us, eyes averted from me. I looked at his face and felt him flinch as I caressed his face and leaned into his body. My brother had stepped aside and could see the interplay. I whispered to Judas.  
>"Please. Look at me. Just look at me." His eyes stayed somewhere over my shoulder. I pressed my face into his chest and cried. His arms stayed immobile at his sides. I turned my head and looked directly at my brother. Could see the outright confusion painted in his face. He looked like me. That's where the similarities ended. Where I was hopeful, loving. He was cynical and cold. Where I was willing to risk, he was always careful. Where I saw a fallen angel whose pain went deeper than almost anything, a wound in need of love and mending. He saw an unfeeling demon with no legitimate emotions. A hungry shell waiting to consume.<br>"Maggy, he will eat my soul. He's a monster. You can't really want to be with a creature like that. You can't really believe that he can love you." My eyes never left Judas' face. I studied the sharpness of his features and the look of pain in his eyes, the pain I could feel reverberating in him. The same pain I was feeling.  
>"When he comes for your soul it will be the end of a contract that you both went into eyes wide open. I can't hold that against him anymore than I can hold your coldness against you. And I believe in his love. It's the only thing I have left to believe in. Besides, if he's a monster... then I'm well on my way to being one myself. I may not devour souls, but I gave mine up as surely as he did when he became what he is. I let it die in that dark pit. He brought it back to life. He brought me back to life.<em>" <em>I wanted nothing more than to have him look at me. His own tears were falling silently. He was trembling. Only I could see.  
>"You have no right Ciel. No right to keep us apart. Lift your order." Ciel's eyes narrowed again and he crossed his arms.<br>"I have every right. He belongs to-" My eyes narrowed dangerously.  
>"If you finish that sentence, even he won't be able to protect you brother. He may have a contract with you. One that binds him to you. But it only binds him through his sense of duty. Which is considerable<em>. <em>So heavy is this duty that he'll deny himself and me. He'll follow that damnable order to the tee. Even if it kills us both." He watched us both. I was still clinging to his jacket.  
>"Sebastian, look at me." He turned to my brother obediently. I released his jacket as the motion forced me to. I bowed my head. I was losing everything all over again. I couldn't hear, couldn't see. The darkness without him was unbearable. Inescapably suffocating. But without him did it matter anymore? Did anything matter? I had no more tears to cry, no more voice to speak. I stopped. My body was still there. Still breathing. For what it was worth it would keep existing. But I knew I would no longer live. A soft touch. A voice. His voice.<br>"Don't you dare retreat from me my angel. I need you. Please come back." I was struggling against the darkness, like a quagmire it clung to me, trying to hold me there in the darkness alone. His lips were on mine. A line to the light, to him. My eyes came back into focus. He was kneeling before me, or was I kneeling before him? I couldn't tell. We were both on the ground. His hands were griping my shoulders tightly, shaking me. Ciel was behind him, his eyes wide and frightened. I barely registered the tightness of his grip, only that he was looking at me. His eyes were glowing brightly, calling to me. I leaned in and kissed him back. I couldn't speak. I was shaking because I could feel the grip the darkness had on me. Without him I was defenseless to it.  
>"You are mine. It can't have you. Mine!" Ciel had seen it. The darkness at the edges of my eyes. They had turned black. Completely and utterly black.<em><br>_"If your being with Sebastian is the only way to keep you with us then so be it. Just don't leave us Maggy!" I was trying to find my voice. My eyes hadn't left Judas'. It started as a soft whine.  
>"J-Judas..." It was barely a whisper. Only he could hear. He smiled finally hauling me against his chest.<br>"My angel." He was nuzzling into my neck, his breath tickling me. I giggled. Ciel collapsed against the wall in relief. I glanced between the two and noticed the red marks on Ciel's neck, something akin to strangulation marks. But Ciel smiled at me over Judas' shoulder.  
>"He makes you happy?" I nodded feverently. Ciel sighed and picked himself off of the floor.<br>"I'll leave you to it then... But could you two at least keep it down till I'm out of ear shot. Not something I want to EVER see or hear again." My eyes must have shown my surprise.  
>"What happened while I was gone" Judas smiled softly.<br>"Does it really matter?" I tilted my head to the side for a moment.  
>"I'm curious." He sighed and smiled again.<br>"You sound like your brother." He tilted my chin up. "I am incapable of lying to him due to an order. He finally got smart and asked me if I love you. I told him yes._" _Our lips met again, sliding slowly, sensually against each other. I was still only covered in the sheet from my bed. He tugged at it, revealing my body to the moonlight again. His smile turned wicked, the flames were back.  
>"Now, where were we?"<p>

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Author's Note~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
><em>

_If you happened to enjoy my story I would really appreciate some feed back.  
>Reviews help feed my muse and keep him happy so that he lets the stories<br>flow more easily. In other words, please Review._

_This was written in one long sitting. Roughly 9 hours.  
><em>


End file.
